Friday, May 1, 2009

A Grand Beggar (Ms.Yu..READ IT)

On a prosperous road of New York, an exquisite black limo flew like a bird. In it sat Kevin and his employer Raymond. They were compatible partners who had met each other a few years ago on the same street they were on now. Kevin and Raymond were recalling the memories reminded by this approach and Raymond said, "Hey buddy! Remember how you spoke to me to ask for money several years ago? Your politeness sure surprised me!" "Ha ha", laughed Kevin. Just then, the ringing of a phone interrupted. After hanging up the phone, Raymond smiled bitterly and Kevin nodded. An expression is sufficient for their negotiation. Both of them were considerate and tolerant of each other as Raymond never taunted Kevin's poverty and Kevin minded none of Raymond's business.

Evening soon came, quietly putting on a light black jacket to the city. At the party, Raymond and Kevin were the brightest moon, always surrounded by the shining stars. Everywhere they go, warm welcomes is like water, overwhelming the place. "Hello Sir! Nice to meet you!", a gentleman came to talk. For the next half an hour, Kevin had to deal with all the praise that came from the gentleman Jason. Even though that it was an evident fact that Kevin was only a driver, people still treated him as though he was the prince, who was always by King Raymond's side. Jason thought to himself, who knows what Kevin's true identity is? How is it possible for someone proud like Raymond have a companion who is a real beggar? To him, as long as Kevin is accompanying Raymond, Kevin is the god.

Time flows like water, never coming back. Time runs like horses, fast and steady. A couple of days had passed until Kevin showed up in the area for commoners, visiting his friends who's occupations are the same as his before--beggar. It was a nice sunny day which made Kevin very satisfied of the splendid life he is leading. He had no idea that an event happening a few minutes later would change his concept of the world. A magnificent helicopter suddenly landed near Kevin and his friends. As they were astounded, Jason walked out majestically. His Armani suit made an evident comparison with the others' dirty jeans and t-shirts that were full of mends. "You are a dirty beggar!", exclaimed Jason with disgust. Kevin couldn't bear the jeer that Jason had just showed because of his identity, so he said, "Get away from me!" "Without Raymond, who do you think you are? Demanding me? In your dreams!" Jason demonstrated great anger, yelling at Kevin. Kevin couldn't persuade himself to believe that this is the person that had glorified him a few days ago. This pushed him into great disappointment, but he kindly thought that Jason was just in a negative mood.

It wasn't too long before Kevin and Jason's next encounter. In a ball room, Kevin and Raymond spotted Jason immediately as he was coming towards them. Kevin and Raymond looked at each other, asking for some advice of what is going on because Raymond had heard about the insult that Kevin received recently. "Hi Sir! How glad I feel to see you two again!", greeted Jason, as if he didn't know what happened the other day. "Oh." The coldness coming from Raymond didn't affect Jason's praise of them. "How noble you look, sir!", said Jason to Kevin, smiling like a flower. Kevin's heart suffered from great agony because of how Jason was behaving. Why is the world like this?! Kevin shouted inside his heart, trembling like a leaf in the wind.

On their way leaving, Raymond comforted Kevin, "You don't have to care about what others are like! As long as you know that you are the one and only, special Kevin, everything's fine! You're important because of your true self! Nothing else!" Kevin sank into deep thoughts for a while before he answered, "We should be judged by the contents of our characters and not our occupations!" Both of them smiled warmly at each other, knowing that they will always be the best partners, no matter how different their classes were. In a bar, Raymond and Kevin communicated joyfully. Raymond put up his bottle of beer and shouted, "Cheers for our grand beggar!" "Cheers!", replied everyone else. Grand Kevin, nodded with a fleet sparkle in his eyes.

4 comments:

  1. Very engaging and powerful. Thank you, Joy, for your inspiration, once again!

    What I loved:
    your use of figurative language - especially personification and imagery. Very vivid and well done.

    Your writing has matured very quickly. I am so proud of you!

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  2. I love the beginning sentence of the second paragraph. It's so poetic!! a jacket of shade... marvelous!!

    take care!

    6/6

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  3. Joy,

    The ending is a lot clearer in this rewrite!

    Congratulations!

    You can work on characterization. There are different ways writers can present character. Try to use indirect and direct methods of presentation. If you have strong characters, your essay will be more engaging and powerful!

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