Saturday, April 18, 2009

Explorations Need to be Handled

Explorations is important to countries because of the great benefits brought by it, but exploration can also cause unhappy consequences. In the past historical explorations, there were many conflicts and misunderstandings between the local citizens and explorers, just like the experience in Franmanyland, a heaven like country. From the experience of Franmanyland, it's clear that exploration can be very harmful if explorers couldn't control their selfish attempts because it can evoke contradictions by contending for resources with the native people, colonizing native lands and kidnapping native people

On a sunny day, the citizens of Franmanyland welcomed the new comers--explorers from Itaziltina. The native people were very glad to have some visitors, and offered to be their guides. Of course, the explorers were delighted to see how popular they were and told the citizens all about their homeland. Everyone was very ethusiastic because of the unexpected friendship, but the happiness didn't last long. After having lunch together, the explorers setted out on their discovery trip in Franmanyland while the native people took their nap as usual. When it was almost sunset, a native teenager ran to the king to tell him that nearly half of the cods in the lake had disappeared and some people saw the explorers taking the fish away. The king was astonished to hear the news, but the fishers were very angry to know that their "money" had been taken away. The native people ordered the explorers to give back their resource immediately, and the explorers refused, so without doubt, they had a quarrel. The unhappy experience made the explorers regret being so impulse, and the native people also felt sorry for being mean, so they all determined to have a new start tomorrow and try their best to repair their relationship.'

It wasn't hard for the explorers and native people to become friends again since they were both very firm to be nice to each other. Both of them were eager to please each other, so they soon became friendly again. A few days later, the explorers were about to leave and came to say farewell. People of Franmanyland were relieved to see them planning to leave without harming their country, but they pretended to be very sad. The polite words stoves that warmed everyone's heart. It wasn't long after some boatmen noticed the cross planted in the sand saying "Itaziltina" while the explorers were having their last dinner in Franmanyland. No wonder, it exasperated the Franmanylandians, so they were determined to never help the explorers again. At the same time, rumors flew into the explorers' ears and exaggeration of what they had done made them very dissatisfied, so they wanted to take revenge. After holding a secret meeting, the leader of the explorers said, "We don't even need to care about how those stupid native people feel! They're so rude and not at all considerate!" This time, the conflicts between the two of them is for real.

Angrily, the explorers planned a kidnap with no pity. At night, when the explorers crept quietly outside to find a good opportunity to kidnap, one or two Franmanylandians walked by, but they didn't bother to speak to the explorers because of the unhappy events. This made the explorers even more determined to take revenge because they don't feel respected among the natives. Soon, the explorers found 10 native people that weren't alert and tricked them onto their ships. After kidnapping the 10 native people, the explorers left with the joy of having revenge, leaving the native people sad and regretting after discovering the loose of the 10 people that they had not thought highly of the explorers after their conflicts and misunderstandings.

From then on, Franmanyland's native people had always treated explorers with respect and tolerance. Even though conflicts and misunderstandings between countries during exploring is unavoidable, people on both sides need to be more considerate and work together to avert fights and even wars. After all, it's the citizens' reponsibility to keep their homeland harmonious and peaceful. Through the historical event of exploration in Franmanyland, it's clear that exploration can bring both advantages and disadvantages, so people of the earth should all make efforts to avoid wars and conflicts. The world needs everyone to contribute to become a place full of peace.

1 comment:

  1. Focus - 4/4
    Organization- 4/4
    Content - 4/4
    Usage - 3/4
    Some little mistakes.
    "loose" === loss?
    The last sentence of your essay is a cliche. Can you change it? How does everyone's contribution can become a place of peace. Be careful with your last sentence.
    "a kidnap" should be "a kidnapping"

    Style - 3.5/4
    I like the way you use dialogue.
    Instead of "it's clear", you can use "it's evident". This will make it sound less like you are talking.
    Use more imagery to create pictures in the reader's mind. This will help your story become vivid!

    18.5/20 = 37/40

    A very creative and thoughtful essay about the topic!

    YOu are really an excellent student. I hope you see that. I know in my heart you have great things for the future. With more students like you, the world will be a better place. You have so much talent to change the world. You have the intelligence to make the world a better place. I hope you know that. Never cease to be excellent because you have such talent in you.

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